Bite Somebody Else (ebook)
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Immortality is being a horrible influence on your best friends. Forever.
by Sara Dobie Bauer
Paranormal Romance
Release Date: June 20, 2017
Ebook
ISBN-13: 978-0997788891
Novel: Approx. 79,000 words
300 pages
Also available as a trade paperback
Find it Online:
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Barnes & Noble
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Independent Bookstores
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eBook purchases through World Weaver Press website include downloads of both Mobi (for Kindle) and ePub (for most other ereaders)
Wholesale: Ingram or direct: World Weaver Press.
Other books in the series: Bite Somebody (1), Bite Somebody Else (2)
by Sara Dobie Bauer
Paranormal Romance
Release Date: June 20, 2017
Ebook
ISBN-13: 978-0997788891
Novel: Approx. 79,000 words
300 pages
Also available as a trade paperback
Find it Online:
Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Books-a-Million
Goodreads
Independent Bookstores
iTunes/Apple iBooks
Kobo
eBook purchases through World Weaver Press website include downloads of both Mobi (for Kindle) and ePub (for most other ereaders)
Wholesale: Ingram or direct: World Weaver Press.
Other books in the series: Bite Somebody (1), Bite Somebody Else (2)
DescriptionImogene helped her newbie vampire friend Celia hook up with an adorable human, but now Celia has dropped an atomic bomb of surprise: she has a possibly blood-sucking baby on the way. Imogene is not pleased, especially when a mysterious, ancient, and annoyingly gorgeous vampire historian shows up to monitor Celia's unprecedented pregnancy.
Lord Nicholas Christopher Cuthbert III is everything Imogene hates: posh, mannerly, and totally uninterested in her. Plus, she thinks he's hiding something. So what if he smells like a fresh garden and looks like a rich boarding school kid just begging to be debauched? Imogene has self-control. Or something. As Celia's pregnancy progresses at a freakishly fast pace, Imogene and Nicholas play an ever-escalating game of will they or won't they, until his sexy maker shows up on Admiral Key, forcing Nicholas to reveal his true intentions toward Celia's soon-to-arrive infant. ExcerptCelia and Ian’s SUV was already there when Imogene arrived in front of the towering two-story monstrosity, painted a light shade of green, with patios that spanned both stories like some plantation house in the low south. She could already hear Dr. Savage in her head: “Green is a very soothing color, Imogene.”
She walked into a huge foyer lit by tiny white candles. The house smelled like Ian, broccoli, and something else she couldn’t put her nose on. At the end of the hall hung a painting that looked like it belonged in a museum. It was obviously Dr. Savage, in a state of undress. She wore nothing but a sheet and skin. Imogene figured the doc would have nothing but pictures of water lilies and Buddha, so the painting did come as a welcome surprise. Maybe Dr. Savage wasn’t as boring as she seemed. Imogene took a couple steps forward in her sky-high heels but stopped when she heard raised voices. “He painted it?” It was Dean, whisper-shouting. “He is a painter, dear.” Dr. Savage stepped halfway into the foyer and stopped. Imogene leaned back near the wall so they wouldn’t see her. “But when did he see you naked?” “He paints nudes.” Dean ruffled his short, brown-blond hair. “You’re not answering my questions, Rayna.” “We’ll talk about this later. We have guests.” She rushed out of the foyer, her heels click-clacking all the way. Dean stood there, staring at the nude of his girlfriend for a second, before groaning and following his undead mate. “Trouble in paradise,” Imogene whispered with a little grin. Then, behind her, the scuff of a shoe on tile caught her attention. She turned in time to see a shadow disappear down another hall. Jesus, was the place a maze? She raced around the corner and ran smack into Nicholas’s chest. She took a big breath of shocked air and her eyes vibrated in her head, because with that breath, she took a deep breath of him. For a guy who had no scent a couple days before, he now vibrated with mouth-watering echoes of fresh-picked basil, black pepper, and maybe a touch of peppermint. She latched onto the lapels of his suit and shoved her nose against his neck, which made him tense and try to step away. She held on and took steps with him. “What is that?” He shoved at her hands. “Miss… Imogene. I must ask you to desist.” She opened her mouth and slopped an oval of saliva onto his neck. “Why do you smell like this?” she muttered against his skin. He wrestled her hands off his suit and held her at arm’s length. “It’s the way I smell after I’ve fed.” She kept trying to claw for more, but his hands around her wrists were like stone. “But you didn’t smell like anything at Celia’s house.” She stopped talking when she noticed her fangs were out. She was much too old to suffer premature efangulation. “I hadn’t eaten in a few weeks.” “A few weeks?” “Age adds endurance.” He pushed her away with more force than was really necessary, but Imogene was well practiced in heels and didn’t falter. She did, however, casually cover her mouth. “Kindly never get that close to me again,” Nicholas said. He adjusted his suit. His attitude made her fangs pop back into her head. She pointed her finger. “Don’t blame me, asshole. I didn’t know what I was walking into.” She spun around and strutted back into the main foyer. She flipped off the naked painting of Dr. Savage as she passed, the taste of Nicholas’s skin still haunting her mouth. About the Author
Sara Dobie Bauer is a writer, model, and mental health advocate with a creative writing degree from Ohio University. Her short story, "Don't Ball the Boss," was nominated for the Pushcart Prize, inspired by her shameless crush on Benedict Cumberbatch. She lives with her hottie husband and two precious pups in Northeast Ohio, although she'd really like to live in a Tim Burton film. She is a member of RWA and author of the paranormal rom-com Bite Somebody, among other ridiculously entertaining things. Read more at http://SaraDobieBauer.com or find her on Twitter @SaraDobie.
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Other Books in the Series
Praise
"In Bite Somebody Else, Bauer concocts a devilish brew that's one part What We Do In the Shadows and one part She's Having a Baby. If you loved the charm and wit of Bite Somebody, its sequel is sure to intoxicate!"
—E. Catherine Tobler, author of the Folley & Mallory series "Raunchy and irreverent, Bite Somebody Else is a vampire romp oozing with sexual tension and laugh-out-loud surprises. Crank up some '80s music, sip a rum punch, and start reading!" — Beth Cato, author of the Clockwork Dagger and Blood of Earth series "Laugh-out-loud hilarious, brash, and fun as hell. My only complaint: this is just a two book series." —Dyrk Ashton, author of Paternus "Funny, sexy, and whip-smart, Bite Somebody Else is a hilarious romp through the trials of vampire romance and what it means to be your own hero and still fall for the swoony British guy." --The Novel Novice "Chock full of unparalleled wit, the most unexpected and stupidly adorable love connection ever, and Imogene's signature miniskirts, Bite Somebody Else will have you laughing from cover to cover!" —Tiffany Michelle Brown, author of Spin and Give It Back "BITE SOMEBODY ELSE is snarky and sexy and packed with good times, good friends, and good slayings. Under all the humor and vampire cutthroat politics, is a story with heart, and a romance to be emotionally invested in. " --Fresh Fiction Praise for Bite Somebody
"Bite Somebody is the Pretty in Pink of vampire stories; fun, self-consciously retro, and not afraid to be goofy. I'll never get the phrase 'Woodsy BO' out of my head. Sara Dobie Bauer knows how to keep a reader smiling."
—Christopher Buehlman, author of Those Across the River "Witty banter and hot sexy-times make BITE SOMEBODY sparkle in all the right ways." —Beth Cato, author of The Clockwork Dagger series "BITE SOMEBODY is sexy, funny, and A-positively alive with colorful characters. Celia is perfectly imperfect and insecure; adorable sexy human, Ian, sparkles more than any undead ever could; and Imogene is the kind of bad-influence friend we all need in our lives. Bursting with tasty giggles, devilish guffaws, and swoony sighs, BITE SOMEBODY is an absolute pleasure to sink your teeth into." —Jennifer Scott, author of The Accidental Book Club "BITE SOMEBODY is nothing short of vamptacular! Often side-splittingly hilarious, at times poignant and overwhelmingly relatable, Sara Dobie Bauer takes us on a journey of self-discovery, friendship, and first love—with a dash of A-positive, surfer dude charm, fangs that go “boing,” and a purple-haired sidekick who's unapologetically stuck in the 80s. BITE SOMEBODY is a fresh, witty, rum-soaked take on the modern vampire story that you'll want to shamelessly sink your teeth into. Go ahead. Take a bite." — Tiffany Michelle Brown, author of Spin and Give it Back |