Now that my novel has been born, people keep asking what I did yesterday to celebrate Bite Somebody’s official release. Well, here’s sort of what the day looked like.
7 AM: Put in my vampire teeth and talk like Count von Count (“One cup of coffee, two cups of coffee, huh, huh, huh…”) until my husband tells me to stop.
8 AM: Bow to my Benedict Cumberbatch altar.
I’m kidding, I don’t have one of those.
Pfft. Psh. What?
STOP STARING AT ME!
9 AM: Watch Pretty Woman and cheer when Julia Roberts tells off the mean shop ladies.
11 AM: Tell a woman at the grocery store that my book came out today. Grin like a serial killer until she runs away screaming, which saves me a lot of time in line, actually. Oh, and buy kale for smoothies.
1 PM: Put my vampire teeth back in. (“Three cups of coffee, huh, huh, huh…”) Greet the mailman.
3 PM: Obsessively check Twitter and Facebook because I just know Anne Rice is going to be unable to stop telling all her friends about Bite Somebody.
4 PM: Realize I haven’t eaten all day.
5 PM: Pour myself a huge rum punch (“It’s beachy, bitch!”) and sit on the back porch. Pretend to watch a sunset over the Gulf Coast. Meanwhile, my dogs eat grass and chase a herd of deer because I actually live in Ohio.
7 PM: Call my mom, let out an ear-shattering scream, and hang up. She understands.
9 PM: Suddenly realize that the Bite Somebody sequel is A Thing and that some day soon, I’ll be doing this day all over again but hopefully in a pair of black patent leather Louboutins because I’m worth it.
11 PM: Put on my red shoes and dance the blues. Under the moonlight. This serious moonlight.
2 AM: Wake from a dream about Freddie Mercury and realize I have a Facebook release party.
Come join us tonight on Facebook from 7 to 10 PM where I’ll be giving away a free copy of Bite Somebody and some other fun trinkets.
And if you haven’t bought your copy of Bite Somebody yet, I know some vampires who’ll be paying you a visit. That wasn’t a threat. They’re really cool, and they like margaritas.
What's this? See the rules and prizes for the scavenger hunt here.