Guest Post by Sara Dobie Bauer
Now that my novel has been born, people keep asking what I did yesterday to celebrate Bite Somebody’s official release. Well, here’s sort of what the day looked like.
7 AM: Put in my vampire teeth and talk like Count von Count (“One cup of coffee, two cups of coffee, huh, huh, huh…”) until my husband tells me to stop.
8 AM: Bow to my Benedict Cumberbatch altar.
I’m kidding, I don’t have one of those.
Pfft. Psh. What?
STOP STARING AT ME!
9 AM: Watch Pretty Woman and cheer when Julia Roberts tells off the mean shop ladies.
11 AM: Tell a woman at the grocery store that my book came out today. Grin like a serial killer until she runs away screaming, which saves me a lot of time in line, actually. Oh, and buy kale for smoothies.
1 PM: Put my vampire teeth back in. (“Three cups of coffee, huh, huh, huh…”) Greet the mailman.
3 PM: Obsessively check Twitter and Facebook because I just know Anne Rice is going to be unable to stop telling all her friends about Bite Somebody.
4 PM: Realize I haven’t eaten all day.
5 PM: Pour myself a huge rum punch (“It’s beachy, bitch!”) and sit on the back porch. Pretend to watch a sunset over the Gulf Coast. Meanwhile, my dogs eat grass and chase a herd of deer because I actually live in Ohio.
7 PM: Call my mom, let out an ear-shattering scream, and hang up. She understands.
9 PM: Suddenly realize that the Bite Somebody sequel is A Thing and that some day soon, I’ll be doing this day all over again but hopefully in a pair of black patent leather Louboutins because I’m worth it.
11 PM: Put on my red shoes and dance the blues. Under the moonlight. This serious moonlight.
2 AM: Wake from a dream about Freddie Mercury and realize I have a Facebook release party.
Come join us tonight on Facebook from 7 to 10 PM where I’ll be giving away a free copy of Bite Somebody and some other fun trinkets.
And if you haven’t bought your copy of Bite Somebody yet, I know some vampires who’ll be paying you a visit. That wasn’t a threat. They’re really cool, and they like margaritas.
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Sara Dobie Bauer is a writer, model, and mental health advocate with a creative writing degree from Ohio University. She spends most days at home in her pajamas as a book nerd and sex-pert for SheKnows.com. Her short story, “Don’t Ball the Boss,” was nominated for the 2015 Pushcart Prize, inspired by her shameless crush on Benedict Cumberbatch. She lives with her hottie husband and two precious pups in Northeast Ohio, although she would really like to live in a Tim Burton film. She is also the author of Wolf Among Sheep, Life without Harry, and Forever Dead. Read more at http://SaraDobieBauer.com or find her on Twitter @SaraDobie.
World Weaver Press
Publishing fantasy, paranormal, and science fiction.